Thoroughly Modern Jane Eyre
by laylaorentea1985
Summary: Some of the dialogue is still the same, but what if Jane Eyre lived in a modern world? please read and review...rated for language


-1Jane Eyre:

Act One:

:Jane is ten years old, her cousin John is fourteen years old and fat, Eliza and Georgina are about her age. Aunt Reed is a woman in mid-thirties:

:Jane is sitting on a stool from a distance from her Aunt Reed, cousins Eliza, Georgina, and John. Jane gets up and goes towards them:

Jane: Aunt Reed?

Aunt Reed: Go back into your corner Jane.

Jane: But Aunt Reed, what have I done?

Aunt Reed: :Harsher: Go back into your corner Jane!

Jane: Why!

Aunt Reed: :Sighs: Until I know that you know how to behave in the earnest way, like any well-brought up child should behave, then I will let you have privileges.

Jane: What have I done?

John: Now she is going to get it!

Aunt Reed: Jane, I don't like questioners and I do not think that it be best for you to question your elders. Until you can speak more pleasantly, you shall remain silent! Now go to your corner!

:Jane sulks away and sits in the corner as Aunt Reed continues to read to Eliza, Georgina, and John:

:When Jane is not sure that Aunt Reed is looking, she sneaks behind the curtains to read a book. John sees her:

John: Mother, Jane is behind the curtain.

Aunt Reed: Jane Eyre! How dare you eavesdrop on us like that!

:Jane comes out from behind the curtain:

Jane: I was not eavesdropping! I was reading a book :shows Aunt Reed the book: _History of Rome, _see? I was only reading a book to keep silent.

Aunt Reed: What am I going to do with you?

Eliza: Put her in the Red Room mamma! Put her in the Red Room!

Jane: No! Please don't put me in there! I'll behave, I promise!

Georgina: She ought to go in there! She ought to!

:Bessie and Miss Abbot enter the parlor:

Bessie: Madam, there is a Mr. Brocklehurst here to see you.

Aunt Reed: Send him in. Bessie, I want you to escort Miss Eyre to the Red Room.

Miss Abbott: What did she do this time?

Aunt Reed: That is none of your concern. She shall spend time in there until she can behave as a civil young lady.

Bessie: Please, don't put her in the Red Room.

Aunt Reed: Bessie, would you like to live on the streets as, oh I don't know, a streetwalker perhaps?

Bessie: No madam.

Aunt Reed: I thought so. Bessie, be a good girl and take Miss Eyre to the Red Room. Miss Abbott, show Mr. Brocklehurst into the living room. Children, you are now excused.

:Miss Abbott exits:

Jane: Please don't put me in the Red Room! Please! If you do, I shall scream bloody murder and your guest will wonder if you have dungeon and a prisoner.

Aunt Reed: I do not have time for this. The Parson is here and I need to speak with him. John, make sure they do something with Jane to keep her out of my hair while I go talk to the Parson. Children, please go to the nursery.

:Aunt Reed, Eliza and Georgina exit:

Bessie: Come on child, off to the Red Room with you.

John: I am going to make sure you put her there. I know how you poor people stick together.

Jane: Bessie, please don't make me go there! Please don't make me be alone with John!

Bessie: You won't be alone with Master John. You'll have the ghost there too!

John: Ghost?

Bessie: Yes, the Ghost of Reed the Great!

John: :chuckles nervously: oh yeah, I forgot about him. He'll keep Jane quiet. I am going to go join the girls in the nursery :leaves Jane Eyre alone with Bessie:

Bessie: You owe me one, young lady.

Jane: I don't owe you a thing! You are putting me in the Red Room!

Bessie: Miss Jane, I will let you stay with me in my apartment if you promise to be quiet. Right now, Mr. Brocklehurst and Mrs. Reed are talking about donations to the Lowood.

Jane: What is Lowood?

Bessie: A school for girls.

Jane: Do they live there?

Bessie: Yes, yes, they do, now come on or Madam shall have my hide.

Jane: I want to go to Lowood. I must catch the Parson before he leaves :runs from Bessie:

Bessie: Miss Jane! No!

:Jane runs into the living room where Aunt Reed and Mr. Brocklehurst are in the living room chatting over tea:

Aunt Reed: Jane Eyre! Why are you not in the room?

Brocklehurst: Is this the young lady you were talking about?

Aunt Reed: Yes. Jane Eyre, meet Mr. Brocklehurst.

Jane: How do you do?

Mr. Brocklehurst: Very fine, young lady. Are you usually a good little child?

:Silence:

Aunt Reed: Perhaps the less better said on the subject, Mr. Brocklehurst.

Mr. Brocklehurst: Sorry indeed to hear that. She and I must talk though. :Motions to Jane: Come here :Jane goes over to Brocklehurst and Brocklehurst places his hands on her shoulders: What a sad sight to see such a naughty child. Do you know where the wicked go after death?

Jane: They go to hell.

Mr. Brocklehurst: And what is hell?

Jane: It is a pit full of fire.

Mr. Brocklehurst: Are you going to go there this minute?

Jane: No sir.

Mr. Brocklehurst: And how are you going to avoid it?

Jane: :Smiles: By keeping healthy sir.

Mr. Brocklehurst: How do you keep in good health? Sometimes children younger than you die daily. Just the other day, I buried a five-year-old. Good little soul he was. We know that his soul is in heaven. I wished I could say the same for you if you happened to drop dead right now. Jane, you need to repent all the stuff you have said and done to your benefactress.

Jane: :Shouts: Benefactress! Benefactress! Like hell she is! How could you call her such a thing? She treats me like garbage! I hate her! I hate her and I hope she dies!

Aunt Reed: Jane Eyre! Watch your tongue!

Jane: You can go to hell for all I care!

Mr. Brocklehurst: :clears his throat: Do you say your prayers night and day?

Jane: Yes sir.

Mr. Brocklehurst: Do you read your Bible?

Jane: Sometimes, but I do not read Psalms. They are boring.

Mr. Brocklehurst: That means you have a wicked heart and you must pray to God to change it! How would you like to attend Lowood?

Jane: I sure would! Anything to get away from her!

Aunt Reed: I want to be sure that you and Miss Temple keep her humble.

Mr. Brocklehurst: I will. After all, we teach Christian values and humbleness falls at the top of our philosophy.

Mr. Brocklehurst: I shall make the arrangements Mrs. Reed :leaves:

Jane: I shall never miss you Aunt Reed.

Aunt Reed: Go to the Nursery this minute.

Jane: No Aunt Reed! No! I should say I love you, but I don't. I am glad that you are no relation of mine, even though I could be the daughter of a poor man. People said I should be grateful that you let me live with you and you raised me as one of your own, but you never did really!

Aunt Reed: Jane Eyre, how dare you say those things! In front of company better yet! I am so glad to be rid of you! I only took you in because of Mr. Reed.

Jane: I shall never call you Aunt Reed again! If people asked me how you treated me, I shall say very terrible!

:Bessie enters the room:

Bessie: There you are, Miss Eyre. Come! Come! We must get you back to the Red Room before :plays dumb and looks at Aunt Reed: oh hello Mrs. Reed. This child would be the death of me :chuckles: I shall take her back to the Red Room. Would you like to come with me and make sure that she-.

Aunt Reed: That'll be fine, Bessie. You make take Miss Eyre to the nursery to pack. She is no longer welcomed in my house ever again!

Bessie: Yes Madam :takes Jane's arm: Come along, you ungrateful cat!

:Jane looks at Aunt Reed and sticks her tongue out at her:


End file.
